


there is peace (peace is a lie)

by luminousbeingsweare



Series: in a galaxy far, far away (my sw fics) [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst, Angst and Feels, Aren't I?, BAMF Ahsoka Tano, Dimension travel (ish), Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost Qui-Gon Jinn, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, I love the Jedi sorry I don't make the rules, I'm gonna have to add these tags to all my fics, Love Doesn’t Equal Attachment in this fic or even in canon, M/M, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Protective Anakin Skywalker, Slow Burn, Time Travel Fix-It, jedi-friendly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24531622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luminousbeingsweare/pseuds/luminousbeingsweare
Summary: Ben Kenobi, Wizard of the Wastes, was really tired of this. For some ridiculous reason, he really thought he'd be able to rest for once in his (after)life. Of course, it couldn't be that simple.Judging by the intense cursing coming from Darth Vader's - or was it Anakin? - side of the room, it seemed he wasn't the only one in this predicament.-Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker are thrown out of the afterlife back to right before AOTC starts. Everything goes to hell.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Past Padme Amidala/Anakin Skywalker - Relationship, Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi, minor Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker - Relationship
Series: in a galaxy far, far away (my sw fics) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773922
Comments: 157
Kudos: 874





	1. rebirth

Ben Kenobi opened his eyes, feeling oddly tired. This in of itself was strange, considering the dead do not need to sleep or rest. He groaned as he sat up, expecting the usual pains and aches that accompanied his movements that cropped up sometime after his fifth decade. Instead, he sat up in one fluid motion, without a sliver of pain. What on Coruscant?

He glanced down at his hands. The familiar callouses were present whereas the wrinkles were gone. Instead of shaky, aged hands, stronger and younger hands clenched as he pushed himself off of the bed. He stumbled over to the refresher, feeling his unimpeded movements instead of the slower ones he was used to. Obi-Wan stared at his image in the mirror incredulously, raising a hand to touch his beard, peering at his much younger - he’d say around 20 or so years - face. What the hell was going on?

Obi-Wan reached out his hand, pulling the datapad lying on his bedside table into his hand, enjoying the ability to use the Force without any hesitation or fear of being caught. (He ignored the part of himself that chided the inappropriate use of the Force).

He checked the date, and his suspicions were confirmed. 27 years. He was 27 years in the past, in his old room, in the Jedi Temple-

His breath caught and tears filled his eyes. He closed them and breathed out, trying to clear his rushing thoughts. All around him, numerous light presences, Jedi who lived in the Temple, without all of the scars and pain of war, Jedi who were alive and not one with the Force as he and countless others had been.

(He’d counted more than 17000 that had remained when Order 66 had been executed, including the Corps, younglings, and few others who had not been in the temple or even a part of the war, yet had suffered because the word Jedi had been synonymous to a death sentence.)

His heart ached as the pain and suffering he had been carrying with himself for decades pushed down on his shoulders. His knees weakened as he stumbled backward and sat on his bed, breathing out shakily and covering his face with his hands. Tears spilled over his cheeks and his hands as he tried to calm his breathing and center himself, but he couldn’t -they were alive - and he let out a sob. He felt the presence of Qui-Gon, his old (dead) Master, years before he should - he’d retained the training from Tatooine it seems - and shook as he wailed into his hands like a youngling, while his Master’s Force presence surrounded him.

_It’s alright Obi-Wan. I’m here. You are not alone._

* * *

A while later, after he'd finally managed to calm down some and his old Master left, Obi-Wan stepped out of his room into the common room. He looked around the room. Everything seemed to be in place, exactly set up as it should be.

(He didn't think about the items that were missing. The large couch that Ahsoka slept on whenever she stayed with Obi-Wan and Anakin, who hadn't moved out of their rooms after he'd reached Knighthood. The blanket that Anakin bought from Naboo which they all shared when watching holos together at night. Ahsoka's silka beads on the mantle which Anakin kept in his sights after the trial, with their hope that she'd eventually return.)

Obi-Wan mourned everything lost but now that he was faced with what could be, it still hurt but in a different way. Before he could ruminate on it more, the other bedroom door opened and that other, strong, bright, presence (he'd recognize it even when dumb, blind, and mute) moved closer. Obi-Wan bit on his tongue hard and turned to face him.

Obi-Wan's heart clenched as he looked upon his young - light, Jedi - Padawan. Simultaneously, it felt like an eternity and a minute since he'd last seen his partner with his bright blue eyes and golden hair (without the admittedly dashing curls he'd grown as a Knight) and soft features.

“Master,” Anakin said, breathlessly. His oddly intense eyes were tracking him as he paced around the room. Obi-Wan steadily ignored the way Anakin bit his lip and continued to stare beneath those long lashes - he didn’t remember his Padawan ever looking at him like that, but it had been decades since then so he’d probably just forgotten. Or never noticed. Not that it mattered at the moment, he had bigger problems to deal with, starting with how he was suddenly back in time. Before the Clone Wars....what a mess.

“Yes, Padawan?” Anakin stared at Obi-Wan as though he was something out of a horror holo. Anakin’s eyes bounced around the room, never moving far before moving his gaze back to Obi-Wan, as though he was magnetized by his old (Old Ben, indeed) Master.

“Nothing, I- just a nightmare. That’s all.”

Obi-Wan frowned, remembering what his Padawan’s nightmares had been centered around and how it had ended up last time. He’d need to get around to addressing that soon. Now, with the foreknowledge that he possessed, he was distinctly aware of the inherent truth to Anakin’s visions and knew that he’d need to act swiftly to prevent the disaster of events that had occurred afterward.

(He pushed down the bitter voice that spits _helieswhyishealwayslyingtome_ )

“Very well, why don’t you help set up the table while I go prepare breakfast for us?"

Obi-Wan didn't wait for his agreement and entered his room and then firmly closed the door shut. His hands shook as he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the door. Force, he couldn't even keep it together in front of Anakin for a few minutes, there was no way he was going to fool anyone when he looked two seconds from breaking apart at the slightest breeze.

He had to keep it together. There was no time, he needed to work quickly if he wanted to prevent the mess that the previous time - his previous life? - was. He sighed. Hopefully, breakfast would help keep his mind occupied for a while.

* * *

Finally, Obi-Wan took his last bit of the meal he'd made - panna cakes - and set down his utensils and took his dishes to the sink in the kitchen. He watched Anakin out of the corner of his eye as his Padawan cleared the table. There were a few minutes of silence as they both completed their tasks before Obi-Wan spoke up.

“Anakin, are you sure you’re alright? You seem to be coming by nightmares rather often.”

Anakin’s eyes drifted aimlessly for a moment before he inhaled sharply as if he’d just recalled something important and seemingly came to a decision. “I just- I’m having these dreams, more like visions really, about my mother and it sounds like she’s in pain.” He paused. “I know what you’re probably going to say-”

“I suggest we go check on your mother then.”

Anakin blinked. “What?”

Obi-Wan gave him a look. “If these truly are visions as you seem to think they are, then there’s no harm in going to see if your mother is alright and if these visions are as accurate as you seem to believe.”

Anakin looked confused and bewildered. “That’s....not what I expected. At all.”

“Why not?”

Anakin replied absentmindedly. “That’s not what you said last time.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes narrowed. “ _Last_ time?”

( _You are not alone_ the Force crooned softly.)

Anakin sighed. “I’m-”

(Sith. Traitor. Brother. Beloved. Murderer. Jedi Killer.)

“Darth Vader, yes I know-”

“-from the future.” He paused. “Yes, that too. Wait.”

Anakin swore viciously (“Language Padawan”). “You’re from the future too. I thought it was just me.”

“I remember being a Force Ghost and watching young Luke during that party they were having on Endor, but not much beyond that.”

“Oh.” Anakin swallowed and looked away. “What do we do now, Master?”

Obi-Wan smiled thinly. “Now, my not-so-young Padawan, we go to Tatooine and save your mother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obi-wan, realizing what's coming up: Anakin, why don't we go on a little trip to the outer rim? We might even land on some random planet, like Tatooine, where you could possibly see your mother and stop her from dying so u don't go murder a bunch of people haha?
> 
> Anakin, realizing exactly what's going on: yeah I'd hate to go all Darkside for a while leaving me vulnerable to a possible Sith Lord who may or may not be the Chancellor of the Republic yanno??
> 
> Obi-Wan: what
> 
> Anakin: what


	2. tatooine

Anakin kicked the sand at his feet, disgusted at the thought of being back on this wretched planet once more. He glanced over at Obi-Wan, who was steadily ignoring his frustrated groans with the air of someone who was more than used to dealing with his outbursts. The thought sent a rush of fondness through his veins. After the Clone Wars (after he’d murdered his friends, his people, his wife) he never thought he would have this. Obi-Wan back at his side, fighting against their mutual foe, partners in almost every sense of the word. His thoughts were suddenly disrupted by a gust of wind that blew a handful of sand into his face.

“Gah! I take back everything good I’ve ever said about sand in my life. I-”

“-hate it, yes Anakin. I am well aware of the hatred for sand that you hold deep in your heart.”

“Why do I feel like you’re mocking me?”

Obi-Wan gave him a familiar _Who me?_ look, which simultaneously delighted and infuriated him. The number of times he’d been on the receiving end of that expression after the man had performed some stupidly dangerous stunt, even after telling Anakin not to do the thing himself, was immeasurable.

“I just don’t understand why you despise it to the extent that you do. I understand some of the reasons why, but it wasn’t the hellscape that you played it out to be. After all, I did spend a significant amount of time living here.”

Anakin rolled his eyes, exasperatedly. “You _clearly_ lost your mind when you decided to live here.”

Obi-Wan shrugged. “Perhaps. I did spend almost two decades here, watching over Luke, and biding my time. The incident with the Death Star was the first real bit of excitement I had up until that point. I was practically leaping at the chance to go elsewhere”

Obi-Wan looked off into the desert with a wistful and pained expression. Suddenly, Anakin regretted bringing up this particular discussion at all. The flight to Tatooine had been spent with both parties on opposite ends of the control room, both wanting separation yet unwilling to part too far. Anakin didn’t like how he spoke so candidly of the event of his gruesome death (he looked past the glow of his blood-red lightsaber, nudging at the worn-out robes from a forgotten era, where did he go, _where did he go_ ) but he didn’t think he was qualified to speak up on that matter considering he was the one who had killed him in the first place ( _hesgonehesgonewhywhywhy_ )

They spent the rest of the walk in silence.

* * *

This time knowing exactly where the Lars’ lived and where his mother was probably being held, the two Jedi headed straight to the homestead. It was highly unlikely that anyone would bother to check if they asked around for directions, and anyone who wondered would simply chalk it up to another sign of _Jedi mysticism_.

Before long, they reached the farm. It looked exactly how it had seemed the first time he had traveled here.

(Anakin remembered the second time, how whilst chasing his son around the galaxy, he'd returned to the ashes and charred ruins left behind by his Empire's soldiers. He remembered destroying Kenobi's meager home, tearing it to pieces, enraged by the bare husk left behind after his son had taken everything of importance. He remembered feeling the presence of Kenobi, practically imprinted onto the walls after years of inhabiting the space. He remembered the _agony_ as that presence dissipated as one of the last remaining physical reminders of Kenobi was swept away by the wind and sand.)

“Give me your lightsaber.”

Anakin stopped abruptly. “What? Why would I do that?”

“I learned what you did the last time you came to rescue your mother. How you _slaughtered_ an entire village, filled with innocents and _children_ alike.”

Anakin had never felt such _disgust_ from his friend before, not even on Mustafar (he’d felt the _pain_ and _anguish_ but at that point, he hadn’t cared).

Anakin’s face darkened with rage. “I don’t need a lightsaber to kill them.”

Obi-Wan’s body stiffened and when he spoke it was stilted, a mask devoid of emotion set in place. “I know. Regardless, I won’t allow you to commit the same heinous act twice, especially since I am actually here this time to prevent it.”

Anakin swallowed, his throat suddenly closing, tight and dry. The rage still burned through his veins, lighting his nerves on fire, strengthening the thrum each rush of blood produced. However, he had no desire to fight Obi-Wan at all. Just the thought of raising his lightsaber against the other Jedi made bile rise to the back of his throat, made him want to impale himself on _his own_ lightsaber. The thought of being here alone, in the past, without his partner by his side...he would undoubtedly go insane within a few days.

(He ignored the voice in his head that reminded him that it only took a few days for him to go insane last time without Obi-Wan as well.)

Obi-Wan had been staring at him intently throughout his lengthy moment of silence, his hand within a short range of his lightsaber, ready to defend and protect himself and the other people if necessary. 

Anakin looked directly into his eyes, removed the weapon from his person, and handed it to Obi-Wan. There was a brief moment of hesitation before he dropped it into the other man’s grasp, where Anakin inhaled deeply, remembering the lectures his Master used to give him for years on end, even after he’d become a Knight and had a Padawan of his own.

(“Remember, this lightsaber is your life. It is immensely important that you keep it on you at all times, especially now, during wartime. Your lightsaber could be the vital difference between life and death in any given situation. Take heed of my words, my former Padawan, as I did my Master and his Master before him.")

Anakin handed his lightsaber to Obi-Wan and stalked over to the front door of the house. He raised a hand and knocked on the door.

C3PO - sans golden covering - swung the door open. It had been a long while since he had spoken to this particular friend (he didn't count the glimpses he caught on Bespin when he was with his children).

"Oh, Master Ani! Thank the Maker, you are alright. I knew you'd make your way back here eventually."

Anakin smiled tightly. "3PO! Where's my mother? I want to see her."

C3PO stood still, clearly hesitating to tell him that his mother was kidnapped and had gone missing.

"I-I think you should come in first. The others can tell you about the Mistress."

By this point, Obi-Wan had made his way into the door but he lingered a few steps back, clearly in the midst of one of the countless memories he probably had of the place.

"Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan's head snapped in his direction and his hand moved directly onto his lightsaber hilt for the first time in the last few hours.

"Right," Obi-Wan said, his eyes fixed onto C3PO's figure. "Shall we go inside then?"

Without further ado, they stepped inside the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin and Obi-Wan: *talk about their problems while not talking about their problems at the same time*
> 
> Also
> 
> Obi-Wan: I'm not gonna let you kill anyone
> 
> Anakin: what if I just choke them a little bit
> 
> Obi-Wan: nO


	3. kin

Obi-Wan walked into the home practically on Anakin's heels, remembering the many encounters he'd had with the Lars’.

("You and your magic nonsense is going to get the boy killed, running off after you, just like his father. Stay away from us and especially from him!")

Being introduced to the Lars’ was strange, having known them for quite some time - at least, known future iterations of them - with him intrinsically being a stranger to them.

“This is my Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi," Anakin announced. It had always greatly annoyed Obi-Wan how Anakin could simultaneously be both the most disrespectful Padawan to his face, yet humble and respectful to others when he wished to be.

“Your Master?” Cliegg Lars asked, disdain clear in his tone, as he glanced at the Jedi Master.

“Anakin is my Padawan learner or apprentice if you will. I simply instruct him until he is ready to become a Jedi Knight and work on his own.” Obi-Wan explained though it wasn’t exactly the truth. Jedi Knights were supposed to have a few years of solo work and work with other Knights so they could get used to being without their Master’s guidance. Of course, with the war, it hadn’t worked out like that for Anakin, who hadn’t parted from Obi-Wan’s side half as much as he should have as a young Knight.

Cliegg nodded, but still looked at Obi-Wan warily. To his credit, he didn't say anything further on the matter and instead began to speak of Anakin's mother and her disappearance. Owen and Beru - his girlfriend, which was also very strange for Obi-Wan, _Force_ they were all so young - had opted to stay out of the conversation, leaving to stay in another room, which both set him on edge and relaxed him at the same time. He hadn’t known Cliegg Lars, the man had been dead for some time before his first meeting with the Lars’. Cliegg mentioned that she had been taken a few weeks ago and that the Tusken Raiders were the ones that took her. 

Obi-Wan had not known of any of this information, since the last time around Anakin hadn’t been too keen to share any details of what happened, aside from the fact that his mother had died.

(It was during his years of exile when Ben learned of the horrific acts that his student had committed. Ben couldn’t believe it when Owen Lars had spat that he didn’t want Ben to corrupt Luke given what his last student had done. He’d gone to local tribes to find out more, hoping that he hadn’t failed so horribly, that his student hadn’t fallen so far whilst under his tutelage. The remains of the village and tribe left him in such a state that he was unable to leave his home for countless rotations, seeking communion with the Force in hopes of an explanation. He didn’t receive one.)

Obi-Wan felt the stirring of Darkness from his Padawan - _Force_ they still had their bond, how could he have forgotten? - and closed his side of their bond, until only the smallest of cracks were left. He didn’t want to feel the poisonous whispers of the Dark Side, feel his former - present? - student heed them with familiarity.

Suddenly, it was all too much. He needed to leave; he couldn’t stay in here any longer. Obi-Wan abruptly stood up, catching the attention of everyone at the table, including Anakin who had startled when Obi-Wan closed the bond. He looked as though Obi-Wan had physically suffocated him instead of only in the Force.

“Anakin and I shall venture to try and locate his mother. I expect that we shall be back by nightfall. If you know anyone nearby with any medical equipment or medkit, I would suggest bringing them or at least their equipment here and set up by the time we return.”

Anakin blinked rapidly, thrown off by the abrupt turns the last few minutes had taken. “I-uh-yes. I was about to say that we should go look for my mother.”

Obi-Wan inhaled sharply. “I am aware, _Padawan_. I took the initiative of doing so before you attempted to abscond on your own.”

Anakin looked unsure of what to do, and how to respond to his jibe. They weren’t in any way, except physically he supposed, the same people they had been, but Obi-Wan’s familiar-yet-not banter left the former Sith Lord floundering. It would be amusing if the reasons for the unfamiliarity weren’t so devastating.

‘ _Reason #1 for not becoming a Sith Lord: You lose all or at least most of your previous friendships and close bonds with people_ ’ _,_ Obi-Wan thought sardonically.

“Shall we get on then?” Obi-Wan opened the door with a flick of his wrist, an unfamiliar feeling of bitter gratification rising in his chest. Despite the few moments of fulfillment and joy he’d felt in this place, his stay on Tatooine was marred with the reasons for his exile, and the number of belittling, disparaging comments he’d heard - aloud or otherwise - regarding the Jedi and the Force itself stirred a deep resentment in him, one that even he had been unable to extinguish.

(He could feel as the remaining Jedi, few Padawans, even fewer Knights and Masters, were hunted down, each extinguished light burning through his heart as he felt the few remains of his people demolished. Not even the desecration of the Temple - Imperial Palace _how dare he_ \- pained him as much as the realization that the Inquisitors - Vader’s group of Dark Users tasked with exterminating any remaining Jedi - had been rendered obsolete because they couldn’t locate any more Jedi, with them more or less entirely demolished. If it hadn’t been for the fact that he hadn’t received any news that Yoda had been found, he would have thought himself as truly the last of his kind.)

Anakin nodded, unable to meet his eyes as he walked out of the doorway. Obi-Wan closed the door behind them with a loud thud.

It took them less time than expected to locate the campsite despite the foreknowledge of it's location, in part due to the Lars’ allowing them the use of their speeder, decreasing the travel time significantly.

When they reached the village, Obi-Wan parked the speeder out of sight, but not too far so if they needed to make a quick getaway, they could. Obi-Wan kept Anakin in his line of sight, wary of the lash of emotions that was bound to erupt in his current state of mind. Both Jedi got out of the speeder and stood, quiet, looking upon the village where Shmi Skywalker was currently being held captive, if not being tortured at the present moment.

Sure enough, Obi-Wan watched, unwavering, as a cloud of the Dark Side of the Force surrounded Anakin, wrapping around the man, growing larger the angrier the other man got. He placed a hand on the hilt of his lightsaber, making sure that Anakin's was still in his possession. If it came down to it, Obi-Wan was sure he could take Anakin head-on if he kept the lightsaber out of his reach.

(It would break his heart, tear his soul to pieces, but Obi-Wan's prior encompassing attachment for Anakin had burnt beyond repair with the fires of Mustafar. He would be ready this time, now that he's seen the extent of the horror his former Padawan was capable of.)

Anakin's eyes flashed a deep golden colour as he stared at Obi-Wan for a moment, his gaze burning through the Jedi Master's, raising the hairs on the back of his neck.

Slowly, the Dark retreated, but to Obi-Wan's shock, it was dispersed instead of hidden away, the Light shining as bright as before the young Jedi's Fall. All the while, Anakin kept his gaze on Obi-Wan, and the way his hand gripped his lightsaber tightly. Obi-Wan watched as Anakin breathed in and out for a minute, eventually calming enough for Obi-Wan to relax his grip.

There was a tense moment of charged tension, where the two merely stared at one another and breathed. Anakin was the first to look away, jaw clenching, eyes downcast. Obi-Wan finally moved his hand away from his lightsaber, sure that, at least for the moment, Anakin had no intention of causing him - or anyone else for that matter - any harm. Anakin slowly turned and walked away, knowing exactly which hut his mother was being held captive in.

Minutes later, Anakin emerged from the hut, his mother in his arms, and with a short glance at Obi-Wan, strode directly towards the speeder, hands tightly holding onto the frail woman in his grasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan, waiting for Anakin go to Darth Vader™ on the Tusken Raiders: i swear i can do it this time, i'll kill him before he can hurt anybody even though it will break my heart in pieces
> 
> Anakin, who does an Uno Reverse™ on him: see, look how Not Evil i am, u have to keep me now, no take-backs sorry
> 
> (this chapter was too depressing for anything else, whoops)


	4. remorse

Anakin paced, drumming his fingers against this thigh restlessly. He could sense his mother’s life force, weak and faltering as it was, in the other room with a medic droid the Lars’ had managed to procure, but it did little to ease his apprehension. Even though they had arrived a little earlier than he had last time, there was no guarantee that his mother would survive her injuries. The sight of the marks left on her by those _animals_ made him so, so very angry...He hadn’t felt such rage for a long time, even while he was Darth Vader. As a Sith Lord, a large amount of his immense power in the Dark Side of the Force stemmed from his self-hatred, hatred for his actions, for his failures to save and protect the people he loved, for all of his mistakes.

Speaking of his loved ones and mistakes, his deepest regret, also known as Obi-Wan Kenobi, had remained in the other room along with Cliegg. They hadn’t had much time to speak to one another for the longest time, decades in fact, at least a proper discussion. Between his death on the Death Star, his own Death on the second Death Star, and being thrown almost immediately into the past - alternate timeline? He was still unsure - there had been little time to discuss anything, other than getting to Tatooine fast enough to rescue his mother. However, now that they had the time, it seemed like Obi-Wan had no desire to speak with him at all, let alone hear out his apologies (not that this was the best place or time to be giving them, but he’d always had a knack for ‘improper timing’ as Obi-Wan put it). Anakin couldn’t blame him. The fact that he hadn’t tried to fight him at least once spoke measures about his old - present, he supposed - Master. If Anakin came faced with his murderer so soon afterward, he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to stop himself from running him through with his lightsaber. Or throw him down another reactor shaft, he really wasn’t that picky.

There had been a few moments when he had been unsure if Obi-Wan would ignite his lightsaber and run him through. He was sure that if he had tried anything at the Tusken Village, his Master would have ignited his lightsaber and fought him, no questions asked. Not that Anakin would have been particularly concerned with stopping him. He remembered the devastation he had wrought the last time, when his mother had succumbed to her injuries and died in his arms right after he had found her, and the trail of corpses he had left behind.

(Years later, Darth Vader would ruminate after the latest occupation of a planet for Sidious - his Master, despite how much it pained him, _it was a mistake_ \- he would realize that no matter how many peoples he slew, how much blood was on his hands, it didn’t matter because injustice would always exist, no matter how much power he had. The realization left a bitter taste in his mouth, and rejuvenated him once more, his self-hatred increasing exponentially. He wanted to scream, and he wanted to cry. He could do neither.)

Thankfully, he had been able to restrain himself and disperse the shadow of the Dark Side. The sight of Obi-Wan, hand on his lightsaber, ready to risk his life to plead and reason with him over the body of his loved one (Padmé, his mother, they both blurred together, his vision hazy and he could swear he could feel the overwhelming heat of the fires of Mustafar instead of the suns of Tatooine) broke through the fog clouding his mind and he realized, desperately, that if the price for his vengeance was Obi-Wan, he would choose to forsake his vengeance in a heartbeat. For all Obi-Wan had suffered ( _it was Anakin’s fault, it was all his fault, he did this to them_ ), if Anakin was to remain by Obi-Wan’s side, at least for the time being, he must do his very best to repel the pull of the Dark Side and learn how to thrive again in the Light. He owed him at least this much. Luke had brought him back to the Light, but Obi-Wan would help him stay in it, whether he was aware of it or not. Whether he does so as a Jedi or something else entirely was the part he was still unsure about.

(He wasn’t worthy of the title _Jedi_ . He still remembered the Temple, Order 66, The Purge, and the ensuing hunt for any remaining Jedi. The number of Jedi he had personally slew was immeasurable, not to forget that he was _complicit_ in all of it.)

In a strangely ironic way, Obi-Wan was _actually_ his Master and Anakin the Padawan, again, this time teaching him how to remain in the Light, and maybe, just maybe be a Jedi again, a much better one than he had been before. The Order as a whole had it’s flaws, it had been clear as day to anyone by the time the Clone Wars came to an end, but they did not deserve what had followed; the annihilation, destruction, _genocide_. Anakin hoped that Obi-Wan would agree with him. Maybe this time, they could try and prevent the Jedi Order from tearing itself apart from within.

* * *

It was sometime later when the medic droid finally emerged from the room. Anakin jolted away from the wall he was leaning against, and hastily followed the droid as it led him into the room. He beelined for the cot his mother laid on, her face filled with tension. The lingering sense of _pain_ filled the room, though it was concentrated most strongly around his mother.

“Mom?’ Anakin asked quietly, reaching out to clasp her hand in his (it was surreal how he had two flesh hands after years with only one and then decades with no flesh limbs at all).

Shmi slowly opened her eyes, a tight smile on her face. The suns on Tatooine along with the rough lifestyle of any individual who lived on the thrice-forsaken planet aged one beyond measure (Obi-Wan’s face, weathered and old despite him not even being near half-way through his lifespan, as Force-sensitive beings lived longer, with the average human living around 160 years. He knew it couldn’t all be attributed to Tatooine, but the accumulation of everything he had suffered throughout his lifetime, especially over the last two and a half decades of his life, but Anakin had done that to him too, hadn’t he?).

“Ani? My Ani?’ Shmi replied, her voice soft yet coarse. Anakin nodded his head, feeling his eyes starting to tear up (he couldn’t cry for the longest time, his tear ducts damaged beyond repair, even for Sidious’ Sith skills).

“I knew you would come back. Return to me.”

Anakin bit his lip, contemplating what to say next. He’d never had the chance to have a conversation with his mother after he’d left her with Qui-Gon Jinn. “I came because I sensed you were being hurt. I’m training to be a Jedi mom, just like you wanted.”

Shmi smiled. “I’m glad. You’ve met the Lars’, haven’t you? I wed Cliegg after he took a fancy to me and freed me.”

Anakin told her that Cliegg had, in fact, told him all of this, and briefly left to inform the others that Shmi was awake. He returned with the Lars’ followed by Obi-Wan, who glanced at him briefly but smiled when he looked over to see Shmi, lying awake on the cot. Anakin introduced Obi-Wan to Shmi, grateful to the opportunity to introduce the two he cared for ( _loved_ ) the most to one another.

“Wasn’t Master Jinn supposed to teach Ani?” Shmi inquired, a puzzled look on her face. Obi-Wan’s face fell as he told her that he had been Qui-Gon’s Padawan at the time, and shortly after his death took the task of training Anakin upon himself. Shmi thanked Obi-Wan for taking care of him, causing the man to become flustered and claim that there was no need to thank him.

Unfortunately, their time here was limited, and they had to return to the Temple soon, having left with the excuse of an excursion for meditation (which given Anakin’s predisposition for having difficulty meditating was not a bad excuse). Anakin embraced his mother before they left, gingerly placing his hands on her back, taking care not to worsen her injuries. He promised to stay in contact with them, handing his mother a comm for her to use, and after making sure everything would be fine, they left. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin: look mom, i'm gonna be a Jedi  
> Also Anakin: i'm gonna angst all the time cause I killed all the Jedi
> 
> Also
> 
> Anakin: Obi-Wan doesn't want to talk that's fine  
> Anakin: wHY WON'T HE LOOK AT MEEEEEE


	5. reminiscence

The trip back from Tatooine was uneventful. Obi-Wan avoided Anakin as much as he could while staying in the same general vicinity as him. Now, as they made their way to the Council Chambers ( _hewasn’treadynotyetpleaseIcan’t_ ), Obi-Wan acknowledged that he had to talk to Anakin eventually. He couldn’t put it off forever. They continued on their way, but there was a tense feeling in the bond, and Obi-Wan had a bad feeling right before it happened.

Obi-Wan felt his heart stop in his chest as an Initiate turned the corner, head down as they peered at the screen of the datapad they held, unaware of the danger that stood a few paces away. Unwillingly, he saw a flash of the Council Room, dozens of small corpses littering the floor, each displaying the gruesome wounds indicative of a lightsaber.

Obi-Wan panicked, his tired, overworked mind screaming at him to do something. He leapt into action, placing himself between the youngling and the former - current? - Sith, igniting his lightsaber and falling into the first stance of Soresu in one swift movement.

The Initiate froze in confusion, but quickly turned back the way they came when Anakin, carefully keeping his body still, slowly turned his head and told him to leave.

"Obi-Wan," Anakin's voice was eerily calm, a thick layer of guilt in his tone. He raised his hands up, devoid of any weapon, not that the Sith would need one. He'd heard of Darth Vader's penchant for Force-choking those he desired to get rid of.

“Do you know where you are?” Anakin’s - Darth Vader’s - eyes flitted across his face, pausing to stare intently into his eyes for a few moments.

‘Dead. I’m _dead_. I’ve become one with the Force.’ Obi-Wan screamed in his mind, remembering vividly the feeling of opening himself entirely to the Force, allowing his physical form to fade away, as he used his Master’s training to transcend death itself, to maintain a form instead of spreading and breaking apart into the Force.

He felt strong, callous hands hold onto him tightly, a warm palm pressed to his chest. Anakin’s voice was steady, yet firm, as he stated, “You’re alive. You’re _alive_ Obi-Wan, you’re not…” His voice faltered, as the despair that he’d tried to hide seeped into his expression, “You’re not one with the Force. Can you tell me where you are now?”

Obi-Wan breathed in and out, focusing on the hands holding onto his body, grounding him; the hand pressed against this chest which intimately felt every rapid beat of his heart, as he struggled to regain his composure. After a few moments, he finally replied, “I’m...I’m in the Jedi Temple. On Coruscant ( _not Imperial Centre, never again-_ ).”

Anakin smiled gently, the despair in his expression receding as he squeezed his shoulder tightly and removed his hands, stepping back while keeping his gaze locked on Obi-Wan. “We can go back to our room.” Then, seeing the look on Obi-Wan’s face, he hastily tacked on, “Or not, we don’t have to do that. You can go back to our rooms and I can go do something else.”

Obi-Wan shook his head and straightened his posture, ignoring the hand that reached out to steady him. “No, we have to go see the Council. We should be receiving the mission for...Senator Amidala.” He avoided looking directly at Anakin, peering at him from the corner of his eye.

He watched as Anakin’s face filled with various emotions, each too complex and raw to name. Obi-Wan turned away to face another direction, the expression on Anakin’s face made his stomach twist and ache painfully. “Right.”

Anakin spent the rest of the walk to the Council Chamber on edge, watching him closely, taking care to keep a slight, but noticeably, distance from him. When they reached the room, Anakin stopped before he did, letting Obi-Wan move forward to open the door.

Obi-Wan raised his hand and hesitantly slowly pushed the large door, hands shaking as he stepped into the brightly lit room, the wide windows letting his conspicuous amounts of sunlight.

Obi-Wan inhaled sharply, feeling his eyes well up with tears, as he looked around at the Jedi Council. For all their mistakes, all their faults, they were Jedi, and he knew each and every one of them, knew that they meant no true harm. The war had worn down everyone of them in some manner, burdened their souls to some degree - some worse than others, yet they were his peers, his people - though they did not know it yet. He turned to look out of a large window, discreetly wiping away the few tears that escaped, as Anakin held the Council’s attention with some thoughtless remark that the original 19-year-old Padawan would say, clearly aware of Obi-Wan’s need to regain his equilibrium.

(Even after all this time, Anakin knew him. Knew him so intimately, and it was simultaneously healing and tearing him apart. He couldn’t bear it if it all went wrong again. He would break apart this time. H̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶F̶a̶l̶l̶.)

Master Yoda smiled at him warmly from his seat. Oh, how Obi-Wan missed his Great-Grandmaster. It was his training that allowed Obi-Wan to speak to Qui-Gon, who gave him much-needed company during his time on Tatooine. It was he to whom Luke was sent to continue his training (a mere three days, L̶u̶k̶e̶,̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y.) 

Seeing the other Masters hurt too, in a different way. He knew that they had fallen in the last days of the Republic when their troops turned on them ( _It wasn’t their fault_ -). For all their status, their Mastery of the Force, they died all the same as the other Jedi.

(The wave of constant _death_ swept through the Force for days and weeks on end, the Force growing ceaselessly darker with each Jedi who became one with the Force, for there is no death, there is the Force; T̶h̶e̶y̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶d.)

Obi-Wan smiled weakly for the Council as they turned their attention towards him and assigned them a mission; one that made his spine shiver with a feeling of dread.

He remembered this mission well; it marked the beginning of the end of the Jedi and the Republic. Starting from Geonosis up until Order 66. Or had the Clone Wars ended with the fall of the Republic, the Jedi eliminated, when the army made specifically for them (to use, to _kill_ them) was rendered obsolete?

(It wasn’t until he had joined the Force that he learned of the control chips that forced his men to fire on him, that forced them to obey Sidious and his directive to terminate all of the Jedi. He’d lived with the pain of betrayal for years and years, trying to find a reason why his men would turn on him so easily, without any prior warning, despite everything they had suffered through whilst fighting alongside one another. His heart broke for Cody, his loyal commander who would have been horrified had he been released from the thrall of the chip; he hadn’t and had been killed, sent on a suicide mission by the Emperor to rid himself of the clones who he had no further use for, Darth Vader’s new group of Inquisitors taking on the task of hunting any remaining Jedi. He hadn’t gotten a chance to speak to his friend before he was thrown back into this time.)

“Protect Senator Amidala, you must. Prevented from voting from the motion, she must not be.” Master Yoda proclaimed.

There was no right side in this war, not when the Sith controlled both sides. It’s a trap, it’s all a farce. Billions of lives will suffer, worlds will suffer for the whim of one man; to gain political power and deface the Jedi enough that their annihilation will be met with applause, rather than outrage and horror.

(The sight of the younglings burned in his mind, the small corpses that were strewn across the Council Chamber, still and quiet in death. The image of his partner, his brother, his everything, cutting them down one by one. The holo of the younglings, moments before their death, unaware that their savior would turn out to be their doom. The Initiate who raised their small training saber, falling into their basic lightsaber stance, the first one taught to all younglings, the only one they knew, at the sight of the raised weapon. Their screams haunted him both in life and in death, and still now, in life again.)

Obi-Wan nodded, swallowing thickly as he started to think of a way to prevent the next few weeks from repeating. Geonosis was a disaster, one that must not occur or, at the very least, be mitigated. Then, there was the matter of Senator Amidala…

“Something to tell us, you have?” Master Yoda’s voice cut through his tumultuous thoughts, startling him enough to automatically respond, “No.”

He saw Anakin shift on his feet beside him, glancing at him bewilderedly, but fortunately, he refrained from contradicting him.

Master Yoda didn’t seem very convinced, but didn’t say anything further, and dismissed them. Obi-Wan bowed, his mind whirring, and he turned and left the Council Chambers, Anakin’s footsteps following in his wake. There was only one thought lingering in his mind: He must speak to Anakin before they embarked on the mission, no matter how much the thought of finally talking to Anakin made him sick to his stomach; It was time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin, watching horrified as Obi-Wan cries in front of the Jedi Council: Kriff, I need a distraction
> 
> Anakin: So Master Windu, I had a funny dream where I cut your arm off and you flew out a window by a guy with a melting face
> 
> Anakin: You could say Windu went out the Windu
> 
> Also
> 
> Plo Koon: Is it just me or was something...off with Knight Kenobi and Padawan Skywalker?
> 
> Agen Kolar: Yes
> 
> Stass Allie: We should probably look into that
> 
> Mace Windu: yes, but have u also considered ignoring it entirely until something happens?
> 
> Shaak Ti: why would u say something so controversial, yet so brave?
> 
> Depa Billaba: no, let him speak
> 
> Kit Fisto: He's right
> 
> Adi Gallia: Sounds good to me
> 
> Yoda: Wrong, he is not
> 
> Plo Koon: Or, we could just talk to them
> 
> Every other Council Member: Nah


	6. plan

Anakin was nervous the entire way to their rooms. They would finally have time to talk alone without anything immediately pressing to deter them, but Anakin was unsure of how to start the conversation. He needed to explain himself, to apologize, to tell Obi-Wan that he had no intention of joining the Sith after the disaster that happened last time, though Obi-Wan probably knew that last part since Anakin hadn’t skewered him with a lightsaber and fled to pledge himself to Darth Sidious or start murdering Jedi. There had been a moment where they both hesitated to step foot in the Jedi Temple, and Anakin had all but thrown his lightsaber at Obi-Wan, not wanting the weapon in his hands after what he’d done when he’d set foot on the Temple grounds more than two decades prior and every subsequent time afterward. It was when they reached their rooms and entered that Anakin decided to start.

Anakin opened his mouth and began to speak. “We should probably talk about...this...everything, you know?”

Obi-Wan didn’t respond but when he looked over he seemed to be paying attention to what Anakin was saying, a controlled, stone-cold expression on his face, probably trying to make up for his lapse of control in the hall before the Council Briefing.

Anakin swallowed thickly and glanced at Obi-Wan again, who was pointedly looking away from him at the room and decided to start at the crux of the matter, “I-on Mustafar-” He stumbled over his words, and Anakin felt his eyes prick with tears as he thought back to the fight where Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi had died, with Darth Vader and Ben Kenobi rising from the ashes, broken and torn apart in similar yet very different ways.

He saw Obi-Wan tense, but he wasn’t sure what the man was thinking or how he was feeling. Their Force Bond had been clamped shut from Obi-Wan’s side since Tatooine, though he sometimes still felt feelings and thoughts drift over from the Bond, which in and of itself shouldn’t be possible. He’d checked every time it happened, and the Bond was still shut tight. The only reason it wouldn’t work would be if the Bond was growing stronger or changing, but that didn’t make much sense either. He decided to bring it up with Obi-Wan sometime in the future when they weren’t so pressed for time.

Obi-Wan moved over to stand by the couch, running a hand across the back of the furniture. “I don’t want to talk about that right now. We don’t have that much time, and we need to come up with a plan for the next week so we can avoid the slaughter that was Geonosis and divert the war, at least for the meantime, so we can figure out what we’re going to do.”

(Anakin remembered returning to their rooms after Mustafar, in the new life-support suit Sidious had created for him. He remembered destroying the couch, the one they both - and later Ahsoka - spent so much time on, throwing it against the walls, breaking it in half. He remembered tearing apart all of the reminders of his past life, enraged by the sentiment the remainders evoked in the Sith Lord. The pain that the destruction of somewhere he had grown up with his Master, that had somehow remained untouched despite the horrors and ruin the rest of the Temple had experienced, only fueled his power, creating an endless cycle of pain, rage, and agony until he was recalled from the Temple by Sidious for a new task. He wondered if any ghosts lingered in the halls as he left the Jedi Temple, walking over corpses of dead Padawans and Younglings that had yet to be discarded to make room for the renovations of the new Imperial Palace, other than his own.)

“I believe I can help with that.”

Anakin tensed, his hand automatically going towards his lightsaber as the new, deep voice cut through his thoughts unexpectedly. He noticed as Obi-Wan froze seeing his actions, and he forced his hand away from the weapon, watching as the tension in his Jedi Master's shoulders faded a little. He spun to face behind him, where Obi-Wan had started to look after hearing the voice, and started when he saw Qui-Gon Jinn, outlined and glowing a light blue shade, with a small smile at them.

"Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan spoke, evidently surprised but not shocked at the ghostly form. Oh right, he'd almost forgotten about the whole Force Ghost thing, in between the dying and time travel.

"Obi-Wan, Anakin, I'm glad you two are alright. It was rather confusing after you both disappeared. We couldn't feel your presence in the Force, so we weren't sure what exactly happened to you both."

Obi-Wan frowned, his brow furrowed as he stared at his old Master. “So, when you spoke to me a few days ago - after we first got here - that was you? How are you even here? How are _we_ even here?”

Qui-Gon smiled, but it wasn’t in a horrifying murderous way like he’d imagined a ghost would. It looked similar to how Obi-Wan smiled, soft and shy, with a hint of playfulness. The familiar gesture caused Anakin to relax a little, though he was still aware of the undead nature of the person in front of him.

“I’m not sure of how you both got here, but those who have become one with the Force are not bound by mortal concepts such as time-space barriers. I was the one that spoke with you, Obi-Wan, as it seems whatever brought you two here, brought back the consciousness’ of all of the Force Ghosts at that time. And before you ask, no you did not kill any past version of yourself. This seems to be an alternate timeline that was created the moment you arrived here.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “Seeing as we are currently living, we did not return as Force Ghosts and instead in our past bodies. And since this is a separate alternate timeline, everything we did originally did happen, just not here and now.”

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had continued to talk while Anakin lost his focus. Clearly, Obi-Wan was used to talking to Qui-Gon's ghost as he didn't seem phased in the least. Anakin just couldn't wrap his head around the concept of ghosts; He didn’t exactly have enough time to process it before he was thrown into the past or at least this past timeline. The idea of dead individuals to be able to appear and talk to the living freaked him out. Qui-Gon himself was fine, but if the Jedi Master could do it, then how many others could do so as well? Would non-Jedi be able to become Force Ghosts? Would _Sith_ be able to do so? The thought of Darth Sidious lingering to haunt the living sent a shiver of dread down his spine.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan's voice brought him back to the conversation at hand. "Are you listening to us? We're trying to make a plan and you're simply staring off into space."

Anakin, who was used to his Master's reprimands, simply responded with, " Yes Master, sorry Master, I won't do it again."

There was a brief moment of silence and Anakin dragged his gaze back to the other two people in the room to see them both staring at him. Obi-Wan had a strange expression on his face, a mixture of exasperation and heartache.

"What?" Anakin asked, confused, and agitated at the odd reactions to his response.

Obi-Wan swallowed and looked away, but Qui-Gon gave him a funny smile which, in turn, made Anakin feel weird. There was a different kind of tension in the room now, and Anakin was tired of not being in the know. "Anyways, moving on from...whatever is wrong with you two, what's the plan now?"

Obi-Wan finally turned back around to look at him, the strange look on his face gone, replaced by his usual expression of calm determination. "Qui-Gon and I decided that we should head straight for Geonosis after rebuffing the assassins after Senator Amidala.”

Anakin raised a brow skeptically, a habit he’d picked up Obi-Wan himself. “How are we going to explain that we somehow knew to go to Geonosis without explaining the whole time travel thing?” He paused. “We’re not going to tell them, right?”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “No, we’re not going to tell anyone, at least for now. It’ll just cause more problems than it would solve. We have a much simpler solution for that.” He gestured to Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon smiled mischievously. “I’m sure they will believe that I told you two to go Geonosis after I appear to them.”

Anakin snorted. “You’re just going to show up at the Council Meeting? Out of nowhere? You’re going to give them all heart attacks.”

Obi-Wan laughed suddenly, loud and bright with a hint of hysteria, startling Anakin enough to make him whip his head around to stare at the broad smile on his face. The sound of his Master’s laughter sent a warm tingly sensation in his chest and he felt a faint smile bloom on his face as he basked in the feeling of the Jedi Master’s joy.

(He couldn’t remember the last time he saw Obi-Wan smile. Was it on Endor? Or was it before Mustafar? Maybe it was before the Clone Wars. He wasn’t sure and the thought made his chest pang painfully for a moment.)

Anakin blinked and exclaimed as a thought suddenly occurred to him. “Wait, how are we going to fight off the droids on Geonosis if we don’t go to Kamino and find the clone army?”

Obi-Wan smirked, looking every bit as mischievous as his former Master beside him, as he replied, “We’re not going to fight them at all. We’ll destroy them before they even think of attacking us.”

Anakin bit his lip, suppressing his smile as he asked, “So we’re going to destroy the droid factories then?”

Qui-Gon threw his head back and laughed. “Never say this lineage does anything by halves.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin: so about the whole Mustafar thing-
> 
> Obi-Wan: Mustafar who?? I don’t know her
> 
> Also
> 
> Qui-Gon: I LIVE
> 
> Anakin, screaming: wHO WHAT WHERE HOW
> 
> Obi-Wan, calmly: hello Qui-Gon
> 
> Anakin: *still screaming* IT’S A GHOST
> 
> Obi-Wan, giving him the side-eye: yea i know. I was a ghost. YOU were a ghost
> 
> Anakin: i forgot???


	7. pretend

Obi-Wan felt a slow, sad smile creep on his face as he looked upon Qui-Gon and Anakin stood by the window of their living room.

If Obi-Wan closed his eyes now, he could almost pretend that nothing was wrong. That he was here with his living Master, his Padawan, and the entire Jedi Order, safe from any external foes. That that Sith did not exist, that there was no Darkness for them to face, only the light. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

(Darth Maul’s bright yellow eyes, glimmering with rage as he rammed his lightsaber into Qui-Gon’s abdomen. Darth Tyranus watching over them as countless Jedi were torn apart in the Geonosian arena, unfeeling towards his former peoples. Darth Vader’s maniac expression as he proclaimed to serve Sidious and his Empire, the agony and hate on his face as he screamed at the fire surging throughout his body, or at least what was left of it. Darth Sidious’s glee at the repurposing of the Jedi Temple and the complete annihilation of the Jedi, and his determination to hunt for any survivors. There was so much Darkness sometimes Obi-Wan thought he could not bear it, except he did. Over and over and over again, with no rest. Master Yoda told him that he shone with so much light, but Obi-Wan wished for some of that light to be in the galaxy as well. He was so very tired.)

“What about you Qui-Gon? Are you going to be hanging around here too?” Anakin asked.

“I-” Qui-Gon’s brows furrowed, surveying the view out of the large window, looking at one of the Temple’s spires thoughtfully before turning back to them and continuing, “I’m going to try and help my Master. I believe that he can be turned from the Dark Side.” His eyes widened, an unusual pleading look in them. “You understand, don’t you Obi-Wan?”

Anakin spat out, derision dripping on every word, “You want to help _Dooku_ ? The man who started the Clone Wars? He’s a Sith Lord - Darth Tyranus - under _Sidious_ ,” He snarled the name out, “right now. Remember?”

Qui-Gon gave Anakin a flat look. “Yes, I recall perfectly, _Darth Vader_.”

Obi-Wan saw Anakin’s expression shutter as he began to look hurt and shamed and sat down on the couch behind him, his shoulders slumped melancholily. Anakin had been much more expressive since their return to the past, clearly displaying his emotions on his face in a way that he had never done, even as a Padawan. Obi-Wan attributed it to the fact that the man had worn a mask for more than two decades, leaving little reason to constrain his facial expressions.

Obi-Wan cleared his throat, hoping to end this line of conversation. “I understand. Do as you wish Qui-Gon, so long as it doesn’t cause any trouble for us.”

Qui-Gon hummed non-committedly but didn’t argue so Obi-Wan took it as a sign of agreement.

“Alright, Anakin can go prepare our belongings for the mission. I have other business to take care of.”

Obi-Wan moved to the door, opening it and stepping outside, before Anakin called out to him, a slight waver of panic in his voice, “Where are you going?”

Obi-Wan turned to see Anakin sit up quickly, eyes focused on him for an answer to his query.

“To the archives. I need to see if there’s any information on previous instances of time travel or travel between timelines that the Jedi know of or have a record of.” Obi-Wan explained.

“I thought we had to leave quickly?”

“Not that quickly. We should have just enough time so I can check and skim over any information I find.”

Anakin looked unconvinced but didn’t continue, allowing Obi-Wan to leave before he could voice any further arguments. Obi-Wan hurriedly shut the door behind him, swiftly making his way to the archives; there wasn’t any time to lose.

* * *

“We have to talk about this eventually. You do know that, right?” Anakin asked.

Obi-Wan didn’t know where this new-found desire to discuss their fractured relationship arose from (he didn’t know anything about Anakin, not anymore), but he didn’t like it. Despite his many attempts to portray otherwise, he just didn’t seem to understand. Or better yet, wish to listen, based on the repeated attempts at starting this particular line of conversation.

“We don’t have the time for this right now. We’ve just about reached Senator Amidala’s residence. Perhaps you should think about that instead of speaking to me?”

At the mention of his former wife, Anakin’s face whitened to an unhealthy degree, a pained look in his eyes appearing as he stared at the door in front of him with no little amount of trepidation. Obi-Wan almost apologized at the harsh reply but held himself back.

A few moments passed in silence. Obi-Wan thought back to the first time they had made their way here, their banter leaving them with a warm, lighthearted feeling. This time, they spent it in silence, a heavy atmosphere suffocating the words before they could come out of their throats.

Obi-Wan thought back to the archives. When he’d made his way there, he hadn’t been sure that his quick search would result in anything conclusive. To his surprise, he’d found a substantial amount of information regarding time travel and timelines. There were mentions of a place called the World Between Worlds and beings of the Force that sounded dreadfully similar to the beings they had discovered on Mortis what felt like a lifetime ago. He didn’t have much time to look into it further but the mere mention of the possibility led Obi-Wan to believe that it would not seem beyond the point of reason should they attempt to speak to anyone of their experience. Not that they would, at least at this point when Obi-Wan couldn’t even speak to Anakin about it. He had just reconciled the fact that Vader had been Anakin, a dark, twisted one, but Anakin all the same.

(It had been Anakin the whole time. It had been Anakin who turned against the Jedi, who aided in the murder of Master Windu. Who pledged his service to a Sith Lord, who led the march on the Temple, who spent years hunting down the last scattered pieces of the Jedi Order left, obliterating it all in an attempt to erase them from memory. It had been his Anakin, who Force-choked his pregnant wife and tried to kill him above the fires of Mustafar. It shattered something deep inside him, something he hadn’t thought could break further, a festering wound reopened, the pain having returned threefold. It hurt, oh _Force it hurt_ -)

“Obi! Obi! Obi! Weesa sooo smilen to see’en yousa! Wahoo!” Jar-Jar grabbed his hand before he could react, shaking it jerkily up and down quickly.

“It’s good to see you too, Jar-Jar.” Obi-Wan smiled briefly. He hadn’t known what had happened to the Gungan after the rise of the Empire, having last heard of him at Senator Amidala’s funeral. It was rather refreshing to see someone so genuinely bright, even if the being was considered dull in other aspects.

Unwittingly, Obi-Wan tuned out the Gungan’s further conversation as he practically tackled the younger Jedi, who stiffened and moved sharply before regaining his senses. It didn’t escape his notice that Jar-Jar seemed to cease his blabber to cough violently, seemingly choking for a brief moment before continuing, unimpeded.

Obi-Wan breathed in sharply, an icy shiver running down his spine as he cast the former Sith a wary look, one that the man seemed to catch onto, based on the way he immediately looked away, in the opposite direction.

Obi-Wan felt the Senator’s presence before they entered the room, not by use of the Force, but by observing the manner in which Anakin’s head whipped around, his eyes narrowing on the door as his jaw clenched tightly to a painful degree.

The Senator opened her mouth, no doubt to greet them, however before she could, Anakin stepped forward, his eyes trained on her as her gaze moved from Obi-Wan, still stood in his position, to Anakin, who was moving increasingly towards her with every laboured breath, creating a tense air in the room as every occupant waited to see what would happen next.

Obi-Wan watched with a feeling of pooling dread as Anakin strode forward, his arms by his side, strangely mechanical in nature. It was how Darth Vader had walked in the large suit, his movements stifled by the prosthetics and large suit that encased him from head to artificial toe.

“Padmé,” Anakin started, his voice hoarse with repressed emotion, “I’m sorry, I- Please don’t, don’t-” He struggled to articulate what he meant, his words growing thicker as the aura of self-hatred around him began to grow exponentially.

Senator Amidala stared at him with blank confusion, unable to understand why he was speaking with her in such a manner with such a despairing look on his face.

Anakin opened his mouth to continue and Obi-Wan felt as though he was watching a speeder wreck, unable to do anything but be a bystander to an oncoming disaster.

  
“I _love_ you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin: wHAT? You can't help DOOKU?! He's EVIL and SITH and listens to Darth Sidious, the only thing he deserves is DEATH
> 
> Qui-Gon: excuse me??? says you??? Darth "Force Choke Me Harder" Vader?? sQUARE UP MATE, LET'S GO-
> 
> Obi-Wan: *staring into the camera like he's in the Office*
> 
> Also
> 
> Anakin: PADMÉ, I LOVE YOU
> 
> Obi-Wan: *looking depressingly out the window*
> 
> Padmé: ...
> 
> Padmé: *calling the Jedi Council* Send me some other Jedi, these two are broken
> 
> Anakin, yelling: Padmé? PADMÉ?
> 
> Padmé: PLEASE
> 
> (fun fact: this fic was meant to be funny/not taken seriously but when I started writing it, it just turned into the angstfest it is now so I add the crack parts I come up with in the notes)
> 
> [also, I've been writing other sw fics and I have more lined up, so if you're interested definitely check them out! i got a time travel oneshot that I spent a while working on which is why this chapter took so long lol}


	8. regret

There was a minute of silence where everyone in the room just stared at each other in equal bafflement, including Anakin himself, whose eyes widened a proportional amount, also astonished by the words that narrowly escaped his mouth. He could hear his pulse echoing in his ears, a steady thrum of life that assured him of his continued living existence.

“Please excuse us for a moment. I need to speak to my Padawan about an urgent matter.” Obi-Wan’s voice came as if through a wind tunnel, a muffled far away sound as he simply gazed at his wife’s younger counterpart.

_ Former wife _ , he amended with a wince, seeing the hard stare she gave in return.

“Of course, Master Kenobi. Take all the time you need.” While strong and confident, her voice wasn’t as ethereal or soft as he seemed to remember. The dichotomy was enough to shock him out of the haze that settled into his mind when he first set eyes on Padmé a short while ago. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since she walked into the room and now, but it didn’t seem to be that long judging by how she was still standing in the same spot instead of making her way to sit down like last time.

Obi-Wan dragged off to a side room and closed the door, giving them as much privacy as they could to reduce the chances of them being overheard.

For a horrible, brief moment, Anakin thought of pushing Obi-Wan back and making his way back to his Angel himself. Sidious’ poisonous words rose to the forefront of his mind, the allegations of infidelity from his most loved ones that seemed to be utterly ridiculous when considered with a clearer mind. Never mind that even if it had been right, Obi-Wan would be at little to no fault considering he hadn’t even been aware of his and Padmé’s marriage, or that Obi-Wan would never betray his vows and commitment to the Jedi Order. That betrayal was a non-existent one, and to think back on how easily he’d been manipulated by such a laudable concept stung. It was another tally on his already long list of things he owed Obi-Wan an apology for, including the fact that he  _ murdered  _ him.

That fact still made Anakin’s throat catch, an eternal silent scream ringing in his head as he recalled the whole debacle. He felt a prickle of tears form as his eyes began to sting, which surprised him until he remembered that his tear ducts were still fully functional.

(No, no, no, no, no. He hadn’t been fighting anywhere near his full capabilities, half-heartedly hitting his red lightsaber against the other as he tried to talk to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, who seemed to have aged far beyond what would be expected, especially considering the longer lifespan and healthy lifestyle of a Jedi. In the older man’s defence, it would be a hard thing for Obi-Wan to maintain since it wasn’t like the Jedi Temple was around anymore for him to live in. Bizarrely, he thought of Dooku and how he’d been a problematic opponent despite his age, which non-Force Users would consider as old and out of their prime. Even Sidious was incredibly agile and combative despite his advanced age and ‘deformities’ as he’d once told the Senate, though Vader hadn’t been there at the time. It made something inside him twist violently, and he felt a swarm of imaginary flames surround him and his seared lungs constricted with phantom pain. Somehow, the sight of the empty, worn robes was the most painful thing he had ever experienced, and he felt a deep, dark feeling settle down on his shoulders as he stared at the familiar lightsaber. If he had to name it, he would have called it loneliness.)

“Why didn’t you block?” He asked, gripped with sudden fervour. “Why did you just let me hit you?”

Obi-Wan gave him a confused and unimpressed look, indicating that he’d been in the middle of an entirely unrelated sentence and had no idea what he was talking about.

“On the Death Star,” He clarified, “The first one, I mean. Why didn’t you block the  _ very obvious _ deadly weapon coming your way? I know you have more skills than that. I’ve seen you use more defence at a piece of rubble thrown your way, but you just let me,” The words got stuck in his throat, and he swallowed thickly to try and get the next part out, but he couldn’t.

“We can’t talk about this right now,” Obi-Wan repeated for what felt like the millionth time, and Anakin just couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Why not?” He just barely restrained himself from yelling, the all-too-familiar feelings of frustration rising in him, a trait that Sidious had particularly encouraged in him. The Sith Master had most likely enjoyed the way he was tormented by his impatient nature, which had persisted no matter how much Obi-Wan tried to instill in him the calming patient nature that a Jedi should embody. ”Just tell me; I want to know!”

“To stop you from killing your children,” Obi-Wan snapped, his voice filling with a tidal-wave of cruelty and sorrow, a duality that only furthered the agony that permeated him since they’d arrived at the apartment.

Anakin unconsciously let out a wounded noise as he curled in on himself, a staticky noise erupting in his head. It couldn’t be, she couldn’t be-

”The Princess? It was her? She is...was my daughter?” Anakin breathed in horror. ”Leia  _ Organa _ ?”

Obi-Wan’s head listed over to the side and sighed deeply, gazing out the window at the Coruscant skyline. ”Yes, Princess Leia was Luke’s twin sister.”

Anakin mouthed the word ’twins’ to himself a few times. Twin, he had twins. He felt the blood drain from his face as he recalled the circumstances of the first and ensuing encounters with his unknowing child. ”I-I didn’t know, ” He choked out. ”I swear I didn't know. If I knew, I wouldn't have, wouldn’t-” He couldn't finish the sentence.

Obi-Wan’s lip curled, an uncharacteristically derisive expression on his face as he glared at Anakin, knowing precisely what he was referring to. ”Perhaps if you didn’t go around as a Sith Lord, you wouldn't have ended up  _ torturing _ your own daughter.”

Anakin felt a cold, deep feeling in the pit of his stomach. It felt remarkably like guilt. ”I didn’t know.” He repeated weakly.

Obi-Wan gave him a half-disgusted and half-pitiful look and stepped away from where they had, he just realized with a jolt of embarrassment, drifted into each other’s personal space as if they were back in the Clone Wars or even earlier, the first time around when everything wasn't in tattered ruins because of what Anakin had done.

They left the room in silence, and Anakin tried to keep his expression from portraying the heart-wrenching misery he felt. It wasn’t long until they made it back to where Padmé and her Captain of Security stood, patiently waiting for their return.

This time when he looked upon the face that haunted his dreams for the last few decades of his life, it wasn't the face of his wife he saw. It was his daughter, Leia, with all of her inherent passion and fire that must have come from him. Both her and Luke, who he had almost mistaken his reflection for, the similarities were unmatched physically and otherwise. He could undoubtedly see their adoptive parents’ shades - or guardians in Luke’s case - that left parts that didn't match himself or Padmé. Those aspects would be attributed to those that had raised them: the Organas and Lars family.

Anakin distantly wondered why Obi-Wan didn't raise Luke himself but set the thought aside to pursue later. He doubted Obi-Wan wanted to hear anything from him at the moment.

A little off to the side, Obi-Wan cleared his throat, and Anakin suddenly remembered what he was supposed to do. ”I apologize for any discomfort I’ve caused you, Senator. I’ve been having a rough time lately and I-” He trailed off, not knowing how to explain away his brief lapse in judgement.

Thankfully, Padmé straightened up and gave a small nod. ”It’s alright. No harm was done, Ani-Padawan.” She corrected herself, deferring to using the less familiar form of address.

Anakin inwardly winced. His smile felt brittle as they sat down on opposing seats and began to discuss the mission. He deliberately avoided looking at his Angel, knowing that she had genuinely disliked his initial glances and almost obnoxious staring he had done. He didn’t bother to voice the objection this time, not reacting in the slightest when Obi-Wan told her that if they found an opportunity to identify the attacker, they would.

Was this where it all went wrong; when he stopped listening to Obi-Wan? Did he even have the right to call himself a Jedi after everything he had done? Anakin filtered out the remaining discussion as he thought about his dilemma.

Before long, the discussion ended, and Padmé stood to leave and go sleep in her room. Abruptly, Anakin’s head snapped up, and he exclaimed, “Wait!”

Everyone in the room paused as he stood from the seat and moved around the table to stand beside Obi-Wan. “You’re going to turn off the cameras.” He stated flatly.

Padmé lifted her chin defensively and said, “Yes. I don’t want anyone to be watching me through on a datapad while I sleep.”

Anakin nodded and replied, “A room with large, uncovered windows is not a very safe place. There’s no point if we sit out here if you’re attacked in there.”

Padmé’s eyes narrowed, “There’s no need for you to stand over my bed while I sleep.”

“Not me, I won’t be doing it.”

“No?” She asked disbelievingly.

“No,” Anakin repeated firmly. “My Master-” He cut off and coughed deliberately when his voice grew deeper and slightly accented. He was going into Darth Vader’s voice when faced with Sidious, the tone alluding the affirmation of his status as an apprentice, as lesser than the Sith Master.

“Master Obi-Wan,” He stressed the name, “Can do that if he thinks it‘s a good idea.” He hastily added, seeing their faces.

He prepared for Obi-Wan to completely ignore his suggestion, but to his surprise, the older man agreed and with Padmé’s reluctant approval - he ignored the pang when he realized there would have been no chance she would have agreed had he offered to stand and protect her - they dispersed.

For the next hour, Anakin lay down on the couch, thinking about his problem but unable to come up with an answer. Finally, he felt a disturbance in the Force and quickly moved to Padmé’s room, his hand on his lightsaber.

Anakin ignited his lightsaber and burst into the room. What he found sent a chill of dread down his spine. Obi-Wan was grunting with pain, a strange wire attached to his left shoulder that seemed to dig into his skin. Adrenaline coursed through Anakin’s veins as he began to make his way to where Obi-Wan sat slumped forward on the ground.

“Is he alri-”

Anakin felt his heart stop as Obi-Wan was abruptly pulled backwards and fell through the broken window. The shattering of transparisteel echoed loudly in his ears as his Master’s limp body - like a fresh corpse - disappeared from his life of sight, down onto Coruscant traffic.

“MASTER!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin: Leia??? She's my kid, r u sure????
> 
> Obi-Wan: yes im sure, i was THERE when she was BORN
> 
> Anakin: oh yeah, i forgot
> 
> Also
> 
> Captain Typho: should we call them back? they've been in that room talking for a while
> 
> Padmé: no it's fine, his Padawan went a loony on us, i think it's a weird Jedi Thing
> 
> Typho: not sure about that milady, the Padawan was giving u strange looks when he came in
> 
> Padmé: i have no idea what ur talking about
> 
> Typho: he looked two seconds from bursting into tears or making out with you
> 
> Padmé: it's probably some personal issue, dw about it. it doesn't matter even though he's hot, and a Jedi, and ridiculously handsome and-doesn't matter
> 
> Typho: ...sure
> 
> (ps. i've been writing snippets while struggling to get this chapter out but I finally did it! idk why this 1.9K was harder to write than the other 7K+ in other sw fics but whatever. hope you enjoyed and sorry for the long wait!)


End file.
